Keeping up with the Fruits of the Spirit in marriage today. 🙂 Next up: Joy.
When I was younger, I used to think that joy was all about feeling happy, having fun, and laughing a lot. It is that, but it’s more than that when we invite God into things.
The world’s definition of joy is: “1. the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation. 2. a source or cause of keen pleasure or delight; something or someone greatly valued or appreciated. 3. the expression or display of glad feeling; festive gaiety. 4. a state of happiness or felicity” (Dictionary.com).
The Bible, however, says a couple of things about joy. “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (James 1:2-4, English Standard Version). And “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice” (Philippians 4:4, ESV).
Have you ever known someone who has gone through something terrible–a death in the family, cancer, abuse, etc.–but has still somehow maintained joy? I’ve been so fortunate to know such people. Honestly, on my side of things, I don’t know how they do it. But I know what they would say: it’s all God, not them. It’s a supernatural thing, something that, until you go through it, you probably won’t understand.
Joy is something that lasts. It endures, even through painful times. It’s different than happy. Happy is a feeling that comes and goes–joy sticks with us. I have joy because of God, but I’m not always a happy camper. Ask my husband and kids. (…Actually, don’t ask them. I don’t want your perception of me ruined. HA!!) The best explanation on the difference between happiness and joy that I’ve read can be found at GotQuestions.org.
So how does this relate to marriage? I believe when both people in the marriage have joy–the enduring kind of joy–their marriage is stronger. They may not always be happy, but they’re not as tempted to find that joy outside the marriage. Their love deepens and endures They can forgive more easily (note I’m not saying they can forgive easily, just more easily, in my experience). They rely on God first for their worth and are more complete, not looking to their spouse to make them complete or happy or to give them joy.
Does that make sense? (And oh, please know I’m talking to myself here, too!)
How do we get joy? The only time I’ve truly experienced joy is when I’ve given up my self: my desires, my ambitions, my goals, my dreams, my own fulfillment, and I’ve sought God: His desires for me, His ambitions for me, His goals for me, His dreams for me, His fulfillment in me. When I seek Him and find Him, I find joy.
For more verses on joy (and what it means and entails), visit Faith Gateway.
and sweep. He’ll put the dishes away (it’s my chore) to give me a break. He’ll take the kids out to give me a quiet house so I can write. He’s patient with me when I’m irritable. He’s kind to me when I’m not kind to myself. And so.much.more.
agree). He died on the cross (
you can get up and make a cup of coffee for your spouse. Or do something you find yucky to relax your spouse: rub their feet. (Uugghh…I shudder.) The list can go on and on.
Submission. Oh, that nasty, hard-to-swallow word. But…
knows her stuff. Find her books on 
The moment I prayed and started reading Psalm 1, I could feel the battle within me. I felt that anxiety fighting back, fighting a losing battle. God’s Word, you guys. It’s Peace. It’s Love. It’s Truth. And it’s deadly to all those negatives fighting to draw your attention away from Him.
anxious over something, he’ll gently rub my back. He won’t make me talk, he won’t belittle me. He’s steadfast. He’s loving. He’s faithful.
Society has changed the way a lot of people thing about marriage. You’re not happy? Divorce. You’re interested in someone else? Divorce. You’ve grown apart? Divorce. All these boil down to one thing: you don’t feel in love with your spouse anymore. (A quick note here: I do believe there are circumstances in which divorce is the best thing to do, such as abuse, infidelity, etc. 
marriage, so I’m confident (I believe) that He has given us the capacity to achieve this list in our marriages.
times. (End of copying! The rest is fresh from my heart tonight.)
really, I hope to get others to laugh, or at least smile, while reading my books. I want that woman who is sitting through a chemo appointment to smile and have her mind taken off what’s being put into her veins to help her be healed. I want that young woman hoping for a love story of her own to see that God loves and pursues her passionately–more passionately than any earthly man ever could–and does so with joy and laughter. I want that mum who’s so worn out from work or being at home with her kids all day to have a few minutes at night to just let go.
of planning a wedding, the joy in the ceremony and reception…then the forever. I want you, my readers, to fall in love with the characters. To join them in their celebration of “forever,” and dream of not just their wedding, but their “ever after.” I also want my readers to see the romance and joy of an “ever after” with their Creator! Jesus on the cross is the most stunning picture of love. A commitment to Him–and His to us–will make all the difference in our lives. Will it make our lives easier? Nope. He doesn’t promise that. What He does promise is that He’ll be there with us, through it all (Matthew 28:20).
Mikal Dawn 